thirty three

why do i find myself constantly thinking about you?

I've tried so hard to push these feelings aside, but they have become an innate part of me.

i cant rid me of you... but for some reason this is beginning to grow on me.

...for a moment i lose myself, wrapped up in the pleasures of this world.

two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl.

Coincidence or sign?

I want to believe with everything in me that they are signs and not merely randomosity.

How could I cope with losing grasp of everything I have been believing in.

The destruction of my comfort zone.

Are you really still here, or have I lost my mind and turned to a fake security?

...how i wish you were here.

rage.

you truly have no idea how your empty words and fake emotions take a toll on me.

to you its nothing; to me its everything.

the opposite of irony.

this is the beginning of a new era.

the beginning of a new space to think out loud.

the beginning of a fresh new blogspot.

a chance to finally let go of all the cruel and ugly things I have encountered in this world- but at the same time a place to rage about them.

a chance for forgiveness.

a place to put the hurt. pain. dishonesty. betrayal. loss.

a chance to be heard.

my cry into the disastrous backstabbing world of 2010.

blinded into ignorance by bright corporate lights

and/or

made into heartless assholes by self-indulgence and alcohol.

a chance for change.

involvement. individuality. evolution. activism. VITAL.

a canvas for the thoughts filling my head.

an outlet. a friend. a comfort. a listener.

this being said, i can choose to give you the raw, honest version of who i am, or i can sugar coat my identity, beautify the bad.

i promise to keep my words true, consider this my diary if you will.

welcome to my mind.

my thoughts.

my emotions.

my painting.

hungry minds, thirsty ears.